Translation Please

1. As Gregor Samsa  awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

• Diction:
• "transformed"
• more dramatic, specific to appearance
• "insect"
• formal/scientific word
• "found himself"
• no control over the transformation
• Syntax:
• "in his bed"
• creates a separation between "transformed" and "gigantic insect"
• Imagery/ Details
• "gigantic insect"
• creates an overwhelming visual
• Structure:
• lack of commas
• the sentence is rushed because there are no commas

2. Gregory Samsa woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a gigantic bug.

• Diction:
• "Gregory"
• more applicable to an American audience
• "changed"
• different than before
• "bug"
• informal
• I associate "bug" with "ladybug", so to me this word has a more positive connotation than "insect".
• "find himself"
• his transformation was a surprise
• Syntax:
• Concise, logical 
• Imagery/Details:
• "gigantic bug"
• I think of the movie "Honey I shrunk the kids" and how larger than life the insects were.
• Structure:
• Simple

3. When Gregor Samsa awoke from troubled dreams one morning he found he had been transformed in his bed into an enormous bug.

• Diction:
• "troubled"
• there was a cause for his dreams
• "he found he had been"
• wordy, passive
• Syntax:
• "in his bed"
• creates a separation 
• Imagery/Details:
• "enormous bug"
• I think of the movie "Honey I shrunk the kids" and how larger than life the insects were.
• Structure:
• Starting with "When Gregor..." emphasizes on the him not 

4. One morning, upon awakening from agitated dreams, Gregor Samsa found himself, in his bed, transformed into a monstrous vermin.

• Diction:
• "agitated"
• more negative
• "monstrous"
• very negative, terrifying connotation
• "vermin"
• very negative connotation
• Syntax:
• use of commas
• separation of ideas, causes detachment
• Imagery/Details:
• "monstrous vermin"
• I imagine an aggressively large insect.
• Structure:
• "one morning... upon awakening.."
• seems redundant because I feel like one wakes up in the morning

Response:

I think the fourth sentence definitely creates a dramatic tone to the sentence because of the choice to use extreme, terrifying connotation "monstrous vermin" instead of the "gigantic" or "enormous" "bug" or "insect".  Also, the addition of some many commas create a dramatic pause and emphasizes the transformation as well. Whereas the second sentence I feel gets the meaning across, but fails to creates meaning because of its casual tone. This tone is also exemplified in the third and first sentence, detracting overall value of the sentence. The third sentence seems too wordy compared to the other translations to convey meaning. This I fell results in a lack of understanding of the scene for the audience. The first sentence the audience is immediately engaged into the sentence, without a formal introduction.   

Translating another language is very difficult to do because I feel like there's a loss in meaning in translation to the English language. Languages, like Spanish go further in meaning and define gender. In Mandarin there are four different tones that create four different meanings. There are different rules conveyed for each language.